Editor’s Note: I am writing this irreverent account of Joanie’s accident at her request. Instead of bemoaning her misfortune, she wanted to make light of it.
Joanie is a planner. If you looked in her suitcase, you’d find all types of medicines, lotions, and accoutrements that any traveler might need in any situation. Trouble with logistics? Joanie’s probably got a Plan B and Plan C already mapped out, but there’s one unforeseen nemesis that did her in, a nemesis that led to one of the most unusual travel accidents of all time – urine.
Yep, urine caused Joanie to break her leg, forcing her and Tony to cut short their vacation.
On Tuesday, the trip to China started inauspiciously when the group’s flight was delayed 16 hours due to a mechanical problem, meaning the travelers had to stay overnight in Detroit. The next day, the already weary bunch boarded the plane for a 15-hour flight to Shanghai, China.
With a 12-hour time difference between the U.S. and China, the travelers landed in the afternoon and had been being whisked around from activity to activity ever since.
Now we’ve arrived at the point in the story when the urine made its attack.
During dinner, Joanie decided to visit the bathroom. Overseas bathrooms can be an adventure, especially those with squat toilets. If you’re not familiar with one, there’s nothing to sit on. Instead, the user straddles a hole and relieves him or herself.
The squat toilets are common throughout Asia and have several advantages over Western toilets: they’re easier to clean, cheaper to make, and purportedly offer medical benefits because squatting strengthens pelvic muscles, builds strength in the hips, and improves breathing and concentration.
However, there’s one huge drawback – not all users have good aim, resulting in splatters. See ladies. It isn’t just men who have trouble hitting the target.
Somehow, Joanie slipped and landed on the floor. The second it happened, Joanie said she knew her leg was broken. Unable to get up, she began yelling for help, but no one came. The minutes passed.
Then, the ever-resourceful Joanie came up with an idea. She pulled out her smart phone and texted one of her fellow chaperones to rescue her from the vile floor.
Now, the entire UTC group sprang into action to attend to Joanie until the ambulance arrived. Some of the undergraduate students, who hope to one day study medicine, organized the efforts, calling for ice to be applied to her broken leg, but finding ice in China is as difficult as finding a corn dog.
Hmmmm……where might there be some ice?.
A couple of students thought of cold beer bottles. Due to the language barrier, the waiters weren’t sure why Joanie would want to guzzle lager under such a set of circumstances, but eventually the message got through. The servers applied the bottles to her leg and, in some cases, poured the chilled beer on top of her leg.
Soon, the ambulance arrived and Joanie was on her way to the hospital, where the x-rays confirmed that her tibia was fractured. The break will require surgery. The doctors offered to do it for her, but Joanie decided it would be best to have the procedure done on her home turf. Instead, the doctors reset her leg and put it in a cast for the return trip.
For those of us overwhelmed with the high costs of medical care in the United States, Joanie wanted me to pass along this bit of information about her accident. When all was said and done, an ambulance crew picked her up at the restaurant and drove her to the emergency room, where doctors x-rayed her leg, reset it, and applied a cast. The final bill was the equivalent of $99 dollars (U.S.)
As I write this narrative, Joanie is getting ready to board a plane for another 15+ hour flight back to the United States, a trip that is difficult enough, even without a cast. She has asked for your prayers. It gets confusing with the time change, so she isn’t sure if she’ll return on Monday or Tuesday.
It’s going to be a long-road to recovery, but I’m positive that Joanie will handle it all in stride in the manner that she always faces adversity – with humor and with faith.
By the way, parents, don't worry. Even though Joanie and Tony are departing China, your children are still in the very capable hands of the remaining UTC faculty members on the trip.
And so ends what will forever be known as The Great Urine Incident of 2012 or maybe, Joanie’s Calamity in the Commode or ?????????
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